Wolf Whistling - harassment or a compliment ?

With plans afoot to imprison wolf whistlers, how about a male perspective? In the noughties I used to ply my trade, far and wide, as a male stripper. I was wolf whistled at by men and by women. I was sexually propositioned by both. I always took it as a complement! However, there are lines and frequently they were crossed.

Whilst performing on stage I always found the gay crowd to be more respectful than the female audience. On more than one occasion a woman literally tried to pull my penis off. That’s assault! I once phoned into a debate on LBC with Ian Dale. I was putting the case that that there should be parity on these issues but he intimated that as a male stripper I should accept it as I knew what I was getting into. He is wrong of course, nobody, even strippers, should have to suffer a sexual assault during the course of their work.

However, I always found the backstage shenanigans of a disproportionately high number per capita of drag queens, way more sinister. One could defend the penis pullers as drunk or lost in the moment. Yet, when one is offered extra work in return for sexual favours I always found it creepy, letchy and Savilesque. Crucially, it was thought through and deliberate. In all the years I was erotically disrobing, this was, with only one notable exception, a purely male pastime.

I’m in my fiftieth year now. I have my own private gym in which I train others. As I’ve already sued a large gym chain and won using the same case law as Uber drivers, I’m barred for public gyms and have to plough my own furrow. I advertise across many platforms. Frequently I am approached by men with sufficient mendacity to make a politician envious. They feign interest about signing up as a client before asking for some kind of sexual favour as a condition of handing over their money! Often they come and see the gym, act perfectly normal and then having departed turn on the Weinstein factor via whatsapp.

It’s sinister and it’s not acceptable. I get way more sexual harassment now from gay guys as a PT than I ever did as a stripper. Times have changed and the Epsteins and Andrews hide behind apps and burner phones. However, I’m an ex power athlete. These numpties don’t intimidate me they just trigger me. Alas though, if I was my sister or my girlfriend, I couldn’t actually do what I do and that’s a huge indictment against men as a whole.

When I was a stripper I used to lament the fact that Harriet Harmen was nowhere to be seen demanding equal pay for men. Female strippers used to out-earn us by 3-4 times. However, I find myself now in a strange realm of male privilege where I have to accept a degree of sexual harassment to actually earn my living. It’s a degree of risk I can accept and handle, whereas if I was a girl I’d be running a huge and frankly unacceptable level of risk. I might be getting the harassment from gay guys, but you can bet your life she’d be getting it from straight guys.

It galls me that the gay community, formerly so oppressed, can now act with such sexual entitlement that it borders on abuse. In truth though, this is an issue of male sexual entitlement, irrespective of sexual orientation. It’s not on and it should be called out. Despite being receptive to wolf whistling from all genders, I do see the need for legislation as crucially it can be a gateway act that can lead to actual abuse. Just please spare a thought for the supposed alpha male type, though. We get harassed/abused too. If we are going to call out and lock up pushy wolf whistlers surely something also needs to be done about the online Savilesque trolls too ?